The Last Good Kiss

"You are so doomed," the kitten said to Remy.

Remy sat down on the sofa. "Doomed," he said. Doomed, doomy doom doomed, he thought. Then he looked at the kitten, Patches 14, who had never spoken before. "My friend," Remy said, "My beautiful new friend. Come and kiss me on the lips."

Patches 14 did just that. It kissed Remy, and then pryed his jaws open and climbed into his throat, where it planted bee eggs and cactus seeds.