In the Days of Captain Osterparks

The captain raises his glass and takes a sip, then spits his wine all over the table. “This is poisoned!” He cries.

The first mate rushes up. “Poisoned, sir? How do you know?”

The captain throws the glass to the floor. “Because it tastes the same as it did yesterday when I put poison in it to experience the flavor first-hand!” He shouts triumphantly. He knows he has outsmarted someone, listening somewhere, but in his shining moment, when he expects his crew to cheer, his only prize is a sea of blank stares.